So I woke up this morning with a really bad headache. I suffer with very bad headaches due to back pain that kicks back to my head. its a searing pain that goes up one side of my head. You can actually see a line on my head that is my muscle pulling exactly where the pain is. Its like the scar on Harry Potters head when Voldermont is around, mine is my anxiety LOL.
Im trying not to take advil as I thought for a long time that it was actually making my headaches along with my anxiety worse I found a ton of articles including these ones:
- http://www.livestrong.com/article/108644-bad-side-effects-ibuprofen/
- http://www.ehealthme.com/ds/ibuprofen/bad+dreams
But Voldermont got the better of me this morning and I worried myself into this stupor of pain and worry, I had an appointment with a new Chiropractor this morning too so I was anxious about going to that, I got it into my head (or Voldermont did) that I was going to go, he was going to crack my neck in a certain way and I would pass out on the way home or in the clinic, what made it worse was that the forms I had to complete didnt have a In Case of Emergency contact part and I was thinking how will they tell Dave Ive collapsed and died!............ Yes these are the racing thoughts that go through my head.
Eventually I caved and asked Dave to come with me to the Chiro, he makes me feel safe. I also spoke to my a fellow anxiety and neck pain sufferer and she said "well were you not making a ton of jewellery last night? and were not you hunched over for hours doing that?" so light bulb moment went off and suddenly I had a logical reason for my bad head. for me having a reason for something makes my anxiety a little more bearable.
Anywho I went to the Chiro and he made me feel instantly better, he didnt crack my back or anything too vulgar and just put some electrodes on my back to stimulate my muscles and gave me some great exercises to do at home. He even got rid of my headache!!!
I came home and did some great meditation. I highly recommend http://www.meditationoasis.com/ its a great site for learning how to meditate and they have some great guided meditations in podcasts. The best thing is that if you have a smart phone or android you can buy apps from them that have the meditations on them so you can do them on the go. For a while I was meditating on the subway into work.
Im feeling a little lost today, last week I was feeling like my schedule was too overwhelming but now ive settled in im feeling like I need some kind of structure, im feeling like I have no purpose and I dont like having zero structure so I have to start finding some kind of compromise. I think having a to do list for the day instead of a hour by hour schedule might be good and hopefully these will become daily habits.
Finally this evening we decided to make some yummy chocolate chip cookies the dough tasted amazing! However because our oven is tottally shit and we have two settings cold and hellfire they bloody burnt! epic fail on the cookie front LOL
So tasks for tomorrow is write a To Do list and try and get into some habits.
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